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Gordon's D-Zone Arcive (2006-2014)

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

No More the Fool

I've got a confession to make. I'm not as smart as I thought. Over these years, I still hoped that my physical and sensory impairments don't matter that much and that, one day, I will be treated as a full person. That I'll be free from prejudice that creeps up when I was sure people "got it".

Yet, and I don't want to name anyone, to far and close people, the misconceived ideas about who I am and what I should aspire to are thwarted and even insulting. And even if you think that getting an education, work or study, you are still robbed of dignity when you get in touch with people. And it's sad but true that it's not just strangers I'm talking about.

Then, I become disable in its true sense. My aims in life should be to walk again. I work to get out of the house. I have all the rights and responsibilities of an adult, and yet, I an sometimes treated like a child. Y writing is another form of therapy. My resistance to stereotypes is just denial. The story of my life interpreted as a medical drama or a charity case.

Here's the paradox. I want to do the things I'm doing. I know I can never conform. At the same time, I cannot shut out reality. And in either case, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Even if I get the awkward questions, the presumption that you strive to be "normal", and are forced to ignore the names you are given and you never chose. Even if you suddenly realise your real ambitious if futile. Even so, it's worth striving for.

Unfortunate as it may be, prejudice and discrimination will remain. In spite of all the efforts made by other groups, such as the women's movement and the black civil rights movement, women and black people are still discriminated. Despite the war against far right extremism during WWII, far right extremism is once again gaining momentum.

Where does this leave me? I guess that my choice would be to move on. In order to move on, however, it's important to take what people tell you with a pinch of low sodium salt. And that applies for both the flattery and implicit insults.