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Gordon's D-Zone Arcive (2006-2014)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Memento Mori [2]

We move on as if we are immortal, untouchable by death, Living life escaping from death deluding ourselves that we will never die. And when death strikes close, our world suddenly collapses. We are left with a sense of unreality. As if this 'sudden change' could never have happened.

I don’t want to live like these others. I don't want to close my heart to the pain of other people. I don't want to find excuses for the state of poverty in our world. I don't want to seek refuge in prejudice to justify injustice and hate. I don't want to belong to the unquestioning herd. I always tried to do what is right. I failed at times but I tried.

A life I want to live again is a life where I am truly myself. A life, which requires me not to hide behind the mask of conformity. I have to lead a way of life that requires of me to rise from mediocrity and the status quo and espouse, again, the creativity and energy that life has given me.

Here, I return back to the beginning of my previous post. I want to understand myself. That is why I need to distance myself from the world at times. My life has to continue of course. But if I'm to find true happiness, what is required of me is to discover the purpose of my existence. This journey may take a lifetime. It will be full of ups and downs. Occasions when all seems to be going perfect and others when I feel stuck in an abyss of emptiness and despair.

There have been times when the pain was so great, living appeared not worthwhile. Times when the future seemed obscure and limited. These are the times when we have to prove ourselves. Many a life has perished at the sight of doom.

After all, our life may be just a road to discover why we are here, to know who we were at one point in our histories - to realise who we were always meant to be. For we all know where this road will lead. Not to Rome. Only to death! And in this awareness of my own death, I hope to have lived a life as close to what I was meant to live. For it's quite tragic to die without realising your own purpose.