GD-Zone Archives Logo

GD-Zone Archives Logo
Gordon's D-Zone Arcive (2006-2014)

Sunday, January 20, 2008

RIGID FLUX


Things seem to be changing fast over here. Well, those who visit this site often will notice that I’ve changed my photo and details re my profile. OK, so I don’t wear a tie and look that serious in this one … in fact it can be said that it’s almost the anti-thesis of the other photo. But that doesn’t mean that the purpose of my blog has changed … only that I want to explore other possibilities over here.


Ironically, after I was writing about my new job, I am notified that I have got my MA. Although I can’t hide the fact that I’m happy (and relieved), it’s business as usual over here. Perhaps even more work. However, I am now thinking of starting my PhD once I get my official printed certificate in the coming months…


And perhaps these sudden changes in my life – witch I knew would happen make me think about other changes that have happened in the past. I can list many of these changes, some personal and some everyone knows about. However, sometimes it is surprising that when you are transformed you sometimes get to lose the company of those around you.

Photo: my first day of school – little, smart, and cute – until I realised the meaning of ‘school’ that is … well, then it was tears, and tantrums for a few days (or so I’m told). It was the first step into the adult world …

And I admit that it was hard, for instance, to realise that you lose ‘friends’ because you become a full time wheelchair user. Or that you may lose others because you lose your vision… and strange as it seems, you can even lose others when you regain your sight – at least in one eye. Of course, it would be false to say that I didn’t change myself during these transitions. Gradually, true – I’m not a werewolf after all – but noticeably.


However, it is also true that I made some good friends and true ones at that. I’ve changed the old ideas I had myself about whom disabled people were (closed as I was in a view of disability based on tragedy and inferiority). I’ve met all kinds of people, disabled or not, who proved to be true friends because they didn’t abandon me when they realised what ‘had happened to me’. My experience, I must say, wasn’t that bad. To put it this way, the fact that the people around me stick around in spite of the negative ideas that still exist about disability or disabled people is great.


Now I’ve also been able to reach out to old friends through the miracles of Facebook(cough!) but then I am somewhat unsure of those who I lost contact with since university for there is so much that has changed in my life. Ideas, beliefs, and values that are now surpassed. And I’ve also grown in many ways on the way I perceive reality and on what kind of future I want. Still, even if my body and mind has changed I’ve got to admit that there is part of me that has survived intact from the past. But that’s for another post …

1 comments:

Frogger said...

What an adorable picture!